Abuse - A Personal Story & Warning Signs To Look Out For

Please be aware that this article discusses forms of abuse. Reader discretion is advised. At first, I thought I was just being overly sensitive. They told me I was ‘too emotional’ and that I was ‘always starting arguments.’ Over time, I began questioning my own reality - who I was, what I believed, and whether I was truly the problem. I reached a point where I was questioning myself multiple times a day, drowning in self-doubt, and in a suicidal state. I began to think… Surely, this isn’t all me?

I became afraid to express anything I felt. If I was struggling emotionally, I felt obligated to pretend I was fine, otherwise I wasn’t ‘trying hard enough.’ But as time went on, I started noticing a pattern: the tension and conflicts weren’t happening because I was being difficult, they were happening when I upheld a personal boundary, like needing space or time for myself. I wasn’t being overly sensitive; they were reacting negatively to me asserting my needs. “So you don’t want to see me then.” That was a response I often heard - forcing me to justify needing personal time and space, something that should be a basic understanding in any relationship. It felt like no matter how I phrased things, my words were always twisted into an argument. My stomach would be in knots every time they rang, which was anything up to 30 times a day. When I tried to mention that the phone calls were too much, I was met with the same response. "So, you don't want to talk to me?". What they were doing was making sure they knew where I was and what I was doing, 24/7, while trying to disguise it as boredom.

And still, I told myself: ‘It’s not abuse. They’re just struggling. I need to be more understanding.’ But abuse doesn’t always leave bruises - it’s the fear, the manipulation, the isolation. Although this is just one example, it reflects a much broader spectrum of abuse. I’ve taken the time to clearly outline the different types, in the hope that it helps those who may not have recognised these signs before. You might not have realised it, but you could be unknowingly experiencing abuse.

Types of Abuse in Relationships & Signs to Look Out For

Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical. It can be subtle, manipulative, and difficult to recognise. Below are different forms of abuse and key signs to be aware of:

1. Physical Abuse

• Hitting, slapping, pushing, or restraining

• Destroying belongings or throwing objects

• Using intimidation through physical presence or actions

• Preventing you from leaving a room or a situation
  

2. Emotional & Psychological Abuse

• Gaslighting—making you doubt your own memory, perception, or sanity

• Constant criticism, belittling, or humiliation

• Blaming you for their actions or emotions

• Making you feel guilty for having boundaries

• Withholding affection as a form of punishment

• Making you believe you are the problem

  
  

3. Verbal Abuse

• Shouting, yelling, or name-calling

• Making demeaning or degrading comments

• Using sarcasm or ‘jokes’ that undermine your self-worth

• Threatening harm (to you, themselves, or others)

  
  

4. Financial Abuse

• Controlling access to money or making financial decisions without you

• Preventing you from working or sabotaging job opportunities

• Forcing you to justify every expense

• Using money to manipulate or guilt-trip you
  

5. Sexual Abuse

• Pressuring or coercing you into sexual activity

• Ignoring your right to say no

• Criticising or shaming your body or sexual preferences

• Withholding sex to manipulate or punish you
  

6. Coercive Control (a pattern of control and domination that strips away independence)

• Isolating you from friends, family, or support systems

• Monitoring or controlling your phone, messages, or whereabouts

• Setting ‘rules’ about what you can wear, say, or do

• Punishing you (emotionally or physically) for not complying
  

7. Digital Abuse (abuse that takes place online or through technology)

• Controlling your social media accounts or demanding passwords

• Sending constant messages to check up on you

• Using social media to humiliate, threaten, or stalk you

• Sharing private photos or conversations without consent
  

8. Spiritual Abuse

• Using religion or beliefs to control or shame you

• Forcing religious practices upon you against your will

• Claiming moral superiority to manipulate your behaviour
  

Signs You May Be in an Abusive Relationship:

1. You feel like you're always walking on eggshells

2. You question your own memory or reality because of their words

3. You feel guilty for having needs or opinions

4. You’ve lost confidence or feel like you can’t do anything right

5. You feel isolated from friends, family, or support

6. Your boundaries are constantly ignored or manipulated

7. You justify their behaviour even when it hurts you

8. You feel trapped, fearful, or emotionally drained
   

If any of these signs resonate with you, know that you are not alone. Help and support are available. You deserve respect, safety, and love.

I encourage you to take a step - whether it’s reaching out to a trusted friend, seeking support, or simply acknowledging that what you’re feeling is valid. 

You can easily reach out to me at support@marie-louise-motivation.com - I will respond personally. Your emotions matter, your boundaries matter, and you matter. You have the strength to reclaim your peace, one step at a time. ❤️

Marie-Louse. X

Support & Resources for Abuse Survivors (UK)

If you recognise any of the signs above, know that you are not alone. There is help available, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued. Below are UK-based resources where you can seek support:

Domestic Abuse & Relationship Support

📞 National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) – Free, confidential, 24/7 support for anyone experiencing domestic abuse

☎️ 0808 2000 247 | 🌐 www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

📞 Women's Aid – Live chat, email support, and survivor forums for women affected by abuse🌐 www.womensaid.org.uk

📞 Men’s Advice Line – Support for male survivors of domestic abuse

☎️ 0808 801 0327 | 🌐 www.mensadviceline.org.uk

📞 Galop – Support for LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing domestic abuse or hate crime

☎️ 0800 999 5428 | 🌐 www.galop.org.uk

📞 Karma Nirvana – Support for those at risk of honour-based abuse or forced marriage

☎️ 0800 5999 247 | 🌐 www.karmanirvana.org.uk

📞 Rights of Women – Legal advice and support for women experiencing abuse

☎️ 020 7251 6577 (Family Law Helpline) | 🌐 www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

Sexual Violence & Assault Support

📞 Rape Crisis England & Wales – Support for survivors of sexual violence and abuse

☎️ 0808 802 9999 | 🌐 www.rapecrisis.org.uk

📞 SurvivorsUK – Support for male survivors of sexual abuse

☎️ 0203 598 3898 | 🌐 www.survivorsuk.org

📞 The Survivors Trust – Support services for survivors of rape and sexual abuse

☎️ 08088 010 818 | 🌐 www.thesurvivorstrust.org

Emotional Support & Mental Health

📞 Samaritans – 24/7 emotional support for anyone in distress

☎️ 116 123 | 🌐 www.samaritans.org

📞 Mind – Mental health support and resources

☎️ 0300 123 3393 | 🌐 www.mind.org.uk

📞 Shout 85258 – Confidential 24/7 text support for mental health crises

📱 Text SHOUT to 85258 | 🌐 www.giveusashout.org